If you have to live anywhere in London, then I have to say Chelsea is the place to be. It’s picturesque, safe to walk around, has a wealth of restaurants, pubs and bistro’s, and a long shopping street called ‘the King’s Road’ where – quite frankly - you will be hard pushed to buy anything remotely useful. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it has Waitrose and M&S and a huge store in Peter Jones – but you will be unlikely to pick up a plug. I can buy handbags, designer clothes, a new phone, expensive jewellery but a needle and thread? Forget it. Having lived here for fifteen years, I have seen many shops come and go, no doubt due to the high rental of property, and have mourned the loss of the more useful ones such as Super Drug. Yes, we have two Boots stores within a short walking distance, but often they are out of the basic medical items such as blister plasters or dental tape. I can get any colour lipstick, or fruity shampoo I desire, but not, it seems, medical supplies. Years ago we used to have a ‘Pastimes’, a ‘Whittards’, Claire’s, a Thorntons, Crabtree and Evelyn – you know, just normal sort of shops. Now it’s shoes and handbags and dare I say it – endless coffee shops. Maybe the constant caffeine hits make us excitable and spend more? I also miss the HMV store, since now there is nowhere in Chelsea to buy a DVD . OK, we have a wonderful Saturday farmers market and the Blue Bird market, but not much use when I can barely afford to purchase a lettuce. I also think £3.50 for a small cupcake is a joke. Small – to my Olympic trained cake eating mouth- equates to two bites. For £3.50 I want a cheeses cake that feeds eight. On the whole, it is better to go outside of Chelsea for real hardcore foraging – particularly if you are on a tight budget. So, where do I shop bearing in mind I hate Oxford Street? Well, I jump in my car (I prefer a car to stick all my wares in) and head for places where I can get real goods at realistic prices. Kilburn high street was jolly in a foreign sort of way until recently, when a great many shops closed down.

Next I gave Peckham a try. Again it has a little indoor market and seems to be quite well off for hair shirts – sorry I mean hair extensions, and wig shops. (Is everybody bald in Peckham?) I just love those foreign household goods shops, crowded with pans, rugs and sink drainers. You won’t see one of those in Chelsea. The residents wouldn’t allow it. Have you noticed in these shops how the chap behind the counter is always playing with his mobile phone? In the meantime, his mate stumbles about the narrow confines of the shop with a ladder trying to get you to buy one of his lava lamps. No, these shops are great selling everything from sticky back stained glass windows on a roll, to 100 corn plasters for 10p. That’s what it is about, you see, getting a bargain and not paying over the odds for it. Of course the real London markets are the best places to bag a bargain. Not the tourist ones like Portabello - I’m talking proper markets like Walthamstow where you can buy anything from tablecloths to turbans. It goes on for miles and even on a wet day, feels like you’ve gone abroad. I can’t understand a word anyone is saying. Shepherds Bush market used to be brilliant but is still the place to go if you want a wedding hat. Every shape, colour and style for £15. A hat that would cost £200 if bought in Chelsea is what I call a good deal. Back of the net, girls, back of the net.